Gone to Winter

If you’ve been a regular reader of this blog (and who, in their right mind, would not be?) you may have noticed a dearth (shortage) of postings. So, knowing that many, many people are wondering where I am, I feel called upon to inform both of you.

At the moment, I am in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Yes…the land down under. I left the Northern Hemisphere Summer for the Southern Hemisphere Winter. Australia is my “other country,” to which I make yearly trips. I lived here once and fell in love with the people and the land. So, it is a pleasure to return each year to visit friends and churches, do some teaching & preaching, eat Aussie tucker (food) and hear the birds sing. So far I have been to Sydney, Dungog, Maitland, Newcastle and Parramatta. In few days I will head back to Sydney, then Adelaide, then New Zealand and back to Sydney.

I left behind my beautiful wife, Charamon, the Charamon Garden and loving family for a seven-week sojourn. Preparation took a lot of time and precedence over blogging. Getting the garden ready to leave in the capable hands of my family took additional time.

A phone call to my son, Tim, reassured me that all goes and grows well back in the garden. A phone call to my parents (90 year-old father, 88 year-old mother) says they are doing OK (at those ages, good days are treasures) and a phone call to my wife assures me that she still loves me and is missing me. Well, the feeling is very much mutual!

Jealousy — Is it Wrong?

Is it a sin? Is it evil? First let’s get a definition from our old electronic friend, Mr. Wiki Pedia.

“Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jealousy).

We tend to get jealousy mixed up with envy. But they are not really related in the English language. When I envy you, I want what you have. Perhaps I want your stuff. Maybe I want your fame or reputation. Maybe I want your ability or talent. Maybe (not me, I swear!) I want your wife. Oh the shame!

BLINK — a book review

I listen to audio books. I download from a service called Audible.com. I pay a certain amount each month and I can download two full-length books on a little digital player and, with a little FM broadcasting thingy which I plug into my car’s 12 volt outlet I can listen to books on my five hour round trips from Abilene to Lubbock where I teach.

I have listened to many fine books (and a few duds) and learned a great deal. I listen to novels which are entertaining or listen to non-fiction (science, history, biographies, etc.) which is educational. Occasionally I hear something absolutely sensational. Two books by Malcolm Gladwell fit into that category.

Some time ago I listened to his book, The Tipping Point. I was blown away. In the last few days I have listened to his book, Blink, and it’s happened again. I recommend both books highly but right now I want to talk about Blink. The subtitle is “The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.” Once you read this book you will never think about the way we think the same way.

What if I told you there is a psychologist who can predict the longevity of a marriage by spending only a few minutes observing a couple? What if I told you about some folks who, based on a few minutes listening to a physician talk to a patient, can accurately predict whether he will ever be sued? What if I told you about antiquities experts who can tell you whether a piece is a fake with just a glance?

In this book you will learn about the amazing accuracy of snap decisions. You will learn how what we hear and see can subconsciously impact the way we act. You will learn how, in many cases, a little slice of information is better than a lot of data.

The information in this little 254 page book can change the way you do business, the way you sell, the way you interact with other people…your world.

A special note to those who work with organizations (companies, churches, ministries, etc.) get this book and read it.

Malcolm Gladwell. 2005. Blink, Little, Brown and Company, New York, Boston.

A Tale of Two Sons

Carlos had more blessings than he would probably ever realize. He was born in the finest hospital in the large city he would call home. The most renowned doctors attended him. He left the hospital in a late-model automobile and taken home to a prosperous neighborhood. He had a room of his own. He attended a school known for its high academic standards. His attentive mother and father loved him very much and made sure he knew it. He attended Bible School and Worship. He said his prayers every night with his loving mother in attendance to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. In his early teens, he was immersed into Christ by his father. The future held bright promise for this loved and privileged child of a Christian home.

How to Keep from Breaking Faith

First, let me get you to read an article by my friend and brother Ron Carlson.  This is a great article about the simple ways marriages can be made strong and unbreakable.  While you’re at it, you might want to subscribe to Grace Centered Magazine.  Lots of wholesome, helpful articles.

Let me add something to the above article.  I have found that if I can get couples to read and practice the characteristics of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, they can get their marriage off the rocks.  I require that they read it to each other each evening before bedtime…one reads it to the other in turn…and then pray for God’s help in practicing these characteristics.  It hasn’t failed yet.  There you have it…free marriage counseling!

Breaking Faith

“…you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant” (Malachi 2:14). In the last 18 months, I have had personal dealings with two beloved men. In addition to other associations with me, they are my brothers in Christ. They have broken my heart and the hearts of those who love them, their children and their extended families. I am putting this on my blog for them and for others who may be involved in similar circumstances.

It is addressed to these men but I am aware that women are often bogged in the same tragic muck. To all of you I say: there is no need to stay stuck in this morass. You can get out. If you do it quickly and decisively you can, with God’s help, find some measure of true joy. I have personally offered to help you both…that offer still stands.

 

My dear loved one,

So, you’ve decided to leave your wife…maybe for another woman…maybe just to explore other options. And, you are doing this in spite of the fact that your wife still loves you, has been faithful to you and, perhaps most importantly, children are involved. Well, I have a few things to say about that.

The Disappearance of Stacy Peterson

This is Stacy Peterson.  Attractive woman.  But what’s the matter with this picture? A 19 year old woman marries a man in his late 40s who’s been married three times before and whose last wife, who feared for her life, drowned in a bathtub. If your answer is “everything,” then you and I are seeing this debacle the same way.

As I listened to the news this morning a flock of questions took flight through my mind. What causes ordinarily responsible people to lose touch with reality? How could she think that this man was a good marriage prospect? Even if he was, shouldn’t she have checked him out more thoroughly? Didn’t she know about the bizarre death of his third wife?  Did her parents/family/friends/confidants warn her about marrying a man twice her age? What was she thinking? Was she thinking at all?

Now, four years later, this young mother has gone missing under suspicious circumstances and is probably decomposing in a shallow grave in some woods. How horrible is that?

I like Joe Muir’s words to young women quoted in Wendy Shalit’s blog Girls Gone Mild he writes:

I…want to encourage each of you to never, ever settle for second best in a relationship, as you deserve the best. It is far better to not be in a relationship, wishing you were in one, than to actually be in one, wishing you weren’t. Be willing, I pray you, to be single for the rest of your life, if that’s what it takes to not settle for second best; as that would be far better than marrying a man who cannot love you.

Amen.